Attack of the Pwns
Season 1, Episode 10
Dick Figures - Attack of the Pwns

Dick Figures - Attack of the Pwns

Air date 24 March, 2011
Episode run time 4:10
Episode guide
Role Playas
Zombies & Shotguns

Attack of the Pwns is the finale for Season 1. This episode was created using computer animation using Blender, special effects and flash animation using Toon Boom Harmony 9 which was made by the crew of Dick Figures.


Space... the season finale frontier... where the forces of evil (Blue) battle the forces of evil-er (Red) for dominion over the galaxy or a frozen burrito or whatever.


  • Red (antagonist until the end)
  • Blue (antagonist until the end)

Minor Characters


(The Dick Figures title card shows, then zooms in on the moon and space battle-vehicles.)

Blue: Emperor Red, you fool. You are outnumbered, the Crimson Empire will surely fall, and why the fuck did you eat the last burrito?!

Red: It was for both of us! Besides, the Cerulean Alliance's days are numbered, and that number is zero.

Blue: Hmm...

Red: Because today you die!

(The Crimson Armada and the Cerulean Forces attack each other.)

Blue: That was the only thing in the fridge, you know I love frozen burritos!

(Blue destroys two red space ships)

Red: You know I love pissing you off!

(Auto-pilot ships are shooting at each other and a giant ship firs at both, Zooms in on the ship, and REveals Raccoon is driving it.)

Raccoon: I have-a no idea what's going on.

(The Crimson Empire suddenly appears.)

Red: Oh-hohhh, yeah!

Blue: Aaah, shit! (He summons the Cerulean Alliance. The Crimson Armada and the Cerulean Forces continue to shoot at each other.) I'm gonna kill you and then I'm gonna eat you, because I'm fucking hungry!

Red: (laughs evilly) All your little spaceships are dead!

(Red chases Blue as they head towards a space station, Red shoots down Blue's engine.)

Blue: Oh, fuck!

(Blue crashes into the space station.)

Red: Feel like I should pull up. (He crashes into the space station as well. Red and Blue escape their pods and pull out lightsabers and fight to the death. They enter a small pod and launch themselves away from the station and towards the sun. Red knocks Blue to the ground.) Any last words, chode?

Blue: It had my name on it.

Red: Only if your name is Señor Delicious!

(The pod is heading to the sun as fast as it can)

Blue: Look, we could keep arguing about this and die a horrible fiery death in the sun, or we could escape in those jetpacks over there. (Red looks at the jetpacks.) Just sayin'.

(Red tries to make a decision and looks at both Blue and the sun, then he finally makes a decision and throws the lightsabers away)

Red: Ah, Goddammit, fine!

(Blue sighs in relief. They escape before crashing into the sun and the sun explodes. They start flying through space. Red sings happily along the way.)

Red: ♪If you like piña coladas...♪

Blue: Huh...

Red: ♪...And getting caught in the rain...♪

Blue: Shut up!

Red: ♪...Doo doo doo doo doo doo yoga...♪

Blue: Shut up! SHUT UP!!

Red: ♪...Bumbnmbm Michael Caine♪

(They start slowing down)

Blue: Aaaaaand we're out of gas.

(They stop moving.)

Red: NOT ME!

(Red starts farting, pushing himself forward.)

Red: Beeeeeean burritooooooo!

(Fart noises are not heard anymore as Red goes off-screen.)

Blue: Well...guess I'm gonna die out here...

(Blue stares at his right, nothing happens.)

-Episode ends-

Dick Figures Title

Dick Figure 25

Attack of the Pwns


  • This episode name comes from a Star Wars episode, Attack of the Clones.
  • The whole episode is a spoof of Star Wars.
  • This is currently the best and most popular episode due to how well it was made, meaning that this episode is a cult classic to all Mondo Media fans.
  • The epic space battle with Red and Blue's ships and clones is a reference to a battle scene in "Osmosis Jones"
  • This episode maybe part of the Expansion Pack along with Role Playas.
  • We learn arguments get out of hand pretty easily between Red and Blue.
  • Blue appears to be Luke Skywalker, and Red appears to be Emperor Palpatine. However, Emperor Palpatine had the Imperial Shuttle (Blue's ship) and Luke Skywalker had the X-wing (Red's ship). But in this episode, Palpatine has the X-wing, and Skywalker has the Imperial Shuttle, when it should be Palpatine having the Imperial Shuttle and Skywalker having the X-wing.
  • The song the Red sang is an 80's hit song called "pina coladas"
  • We learn Blue loves Frozen Burritos.
  • Red apparently loves to, in his words "piss off Blue".
  • Red and Blue don't seem to need air in order to survive out in space.
  • Red spaceships have skulls symbols and Blue's spaceships have stars symbols.
  • In some scenes where Red and Blue are in a background that is not the color white, their heads and eyes remain the color white. However, in some other scenes, their heads and eyes become transparent and you can see the background behind their heads.

Recurring Gags

Auto-Tune Use


Red Floating

Red, along with Blue, float through space with their jetpacks.

Episode Ending

The word "DICK FIGURES" appears with the "I"s replaced by light sabers.

The Last Line Being Cut



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