|Season 2, Episode 3|
|Air date||May 19, 2011|
|Episode run time||2:24|
Lord Tourette's Syndrome
Red and Blue's hamster Flufferz passes away, but not before passing a magical teapot out his poop hole.
Transcript(A hamster is seen inside a cage. He first makes a short poop, but then he start getting constipated and while he tries to poop, farting sounds are heard. After at least 10 seconds of constipation, the hamster poops out a teapot and dies.)
Red: HOOLY SHIT!
Blue: FLUFFERZ! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooo--
(Time lapse. Both of them have just finished burying Flufferz.)
Blue: See ya, fucker.
Red: (Trying to open the teapot) Dude, what is with this weird teapot?
Blue: Aaah! Don't touch that, it came out of his butt!
Red: Hahaha, never stopped me before! (Shakes the teapot and a hamster genie comes out.)
Genie: Greetings, nerds. I am the all-powerful genie of the teapot.
Red: (whispers to Blue) I like his voice.
Genie: I shall grant you each one wish.
Blue: (clears his throat) Cheap-ass!
Genie: But I'll grant you one extra wish for each person you share this treasure with.
Blue: Like a coupon?
Genie: (Magic light surrounds him, echoed voice) KIND OF!!!
(Red and Blue are in the streets)
Red: Let's just use it! I only want one wish. (Shows a picture of Red's wish, to rule the world)
Blue: OK, that sounds pretty sweet. We could wish for a million things this way! Here, let's ask Lord Tourettes.
(Lord Tourettes appears on the streets)
Lord Tourettes: Oaah, why hello, COCKSUCKERS, quite a fine day for FUCKING, isn't it? (Giggles.)
Genie: What up? You get a wish!
Lord Tourettes: Splendid! I think I'll wish forrr... a pink...sparkly-- DONKEY SHIT ON MY FACE!
(Red, Blue and Genie back away, then a donkey sound is heard.)
Lord Tourettes: Oh, no... (A shadow from the sky is falling towards Lord Tourettes)
(Red and Blue now go see every random person they meet)
Light blue man: I wish my head was an anvil. (It becomes one, but he falls down) (Wishes: 2)
Broseph: I wanna be ripped! (He screams as he gets sliced in half) (Wishes: 42)
Tangerine man: A car! (A car falls down from the sky and crushes him) (Wishes: 111)
Orange man: I wanna be fat. (He turns fat) YES!! (Wishes: 234)
Raccoon: Kūrusangurasu! (Cool sunglasses. He gets them) Hunto! (Wishes: 457)
Blue: Oh, my God, dude! We get to make 457 wishes!
(The genie appears again.)
Genie: Damn, guys! Th-that's a fuck ton.
Red: Pssh, no! 400 and up is a shitload.
Genie: No, a shitload is 300 and up, 400 is a fuck ton.
Red: You're WRONG!
Genie: I'm right, genies are always right!
Red: Genies are always GAY!
Genie: WHY DON'T YOU GO TO HELL?!
Red: I wish you would shut up! (Wish granted.)
Red: Booyah! Eat my butt, h'ombre!
Blue: You idiot! If he can't speak, he can't grant anymore wishes, numbnuts! YOU RUINED OUR GENIE!!!
Red: Whateva! I got what I wanted.
(Red walks away)
Blue: (rage guy meme face) RRRRRREEEEEEEE-
Dick Figures Title
- Flufferz bowels got voided, a sign if someone died.
- The is the first episode of Dick Figures to use magic.
- One of the only episodes to not have Red to break the laws of physics.
- Red wishes to be some sort of king.
- Blue's line while despairing over Flufferz' death (FLUFFERZ! NOO....) is played in the episode selection list after this episode in slow motion (and the stop motion stops when Blue says "see ya fucker").
- Wishes from the characters in this episode:
- Blue wanted more wishes.
- Lord Tourettes wanted something pink and sparkly but spazzed before he finished.
- Broseph wanted to be ripped (muscular) to make him look tough but the Genie thought he was talking about suicide and ripped him in half.
- Light Blue wants an anvil head for some reason.
- Tangerine wanted a car.
- Orange wanted to be fat.
- Raccoon wanted cool sun glasses.
- Red wanted the Genie to shut up after they got into a fight.
- This is the episode with the most minor characters having lines.
- (Possibly) Only three people were happy(and possibly alive) towards the result of their wishes, Red, Orange, and Raccoon.
- Blue is shown to be very greedy.
- Ed Skudder voiced Blue screaming "REEEEEEE....."
- Lord Tourettes and Broseph appeared again.
- Blue copied another meme (the FUUUUUUUUU meme). First time was in Zombies & Shotguns when he copied the "Fuck Yeah!" meme.
The word DICK FIGURES appears with crap on it. (Notice on the top of the word, FIGURES, Lord Tourettes is buried alive in pink donkey poop.)