Chick Figures
Season 5, Episode 9
Dick Figures - Chick Figures (Ep 49)

Dick Figures - Chick Figures (Ep 49)

Air date March 27, 2015 (Download)
May 29, 2014 (Mondo)
June 19, 2014 (YouTube)
Episode run time 3: 01
Episode guide
Trash God
Happy Birthdump

Chick Figures is the ninth episode of Dick Figures Season 5 and the 49th episode overall. It is a gender-bender episode.


In this gender-bending episode, all the characters switch genders. Red becomes a girl named Scarlet. Blue becomes Lavender. You get the picture. Our two heroines travel to a house party in hopes of finally… making loooooveeeee…



(Scarlet is lying on the couch, drinking some beer.)

Lavender: Scarlet! What are you doing?! We were suppose to be at Salmon's birthday like an hour ago!

Scarlet: Pre-gamin' bitch! Clear that beach outta your vagina, jeez!

Lavender: Well, get up, we gotta go!

Scarlet: Hey Lavender?

Lavender: What?

Scarlet: They should call you... Scavenger!

Lavender: (annoyed tone) Ughhh why?

Scarlet: Because you can eat my shit! (laughs)

Lavender: That makes zero sense! Look! We missed the last eight parties because of you and tonight, (smiles) Salmon and I were finally going to. (The background blooms with flowers as harmonic music plays) Make looove.

Scarlet: I'm only going if Burgundy's there. I wanna jump his booones. And his boner. (laughs and falls off the couch)

Lavender: Scarlet, seriously?!

Scarlet: I'm gonna be, the finest bitch in this plaaace! (farts out the Auto-Tuned Bee with a pink bow.)

Female Auto-Tuned Bee: For reeeaaaal!

Lavender: (face palms) Okay, if we stop and get booze will you PLEASE get up?

(Scarlet suddenly jumps off the couch and floats in the air)


(Lavender makes it to the party.)

Lavender: Holy Jesus finally! Time to find Salmon and... (The background blooms with flowers as harmonic music plays) Make looooo-

(It cuts to a Female Broseph with the Fat Ugly Boy.)

Braseph: Hey, bra! Look what I can do! (flexes her boobs as the Fat Ugly Boy walks away) Hey! Check out these taas bra! (runs after him)

Trollz0ra: Aah, this party fails like, critically!

Ms. Dingleberry: What's that little boy? You want some of Grandma's cookies?

Trollz0ra: But, I'm a giiiiirl! (cries)

Mama-san: (to a dark green man) Those buns are spicy like-a sashimi! Ret's see them crap!

Dark Green Man: Uhh, I gotta go! (runs off)

(Lord Tourettes skips up to Lavender)

Lord Tourettes: Aah! Why hello Laven-DICK! Welcome to HELL!

Lavender: (annoyed look) Hey L.T.

Lord Tourettes: Where's Scarlet?

(Scarlet wheels in a pile of beer.)

Scarlet: Bringin' up the beer! (vomits on the floor)

(Lord Tourettes backs away in disgust)

Lavender: (gasps) Salmon!

Salmon: Lavender, you came! I was starting to think you weren't going to make it! Again?

Lavender: I always come for you, baby boo-boo-boo!

Scarlet: Eww! Get a room, weirdos!

Salmon: (annoyed look) Scarlet, nice of you to show up...

(Scarlet throws up again.)

Salmon: Aaand throw up.

Lavender: Okay! Ah, martini time.

(Lavender and Salmon walk off-screen as Scarlet drops back on the floor before cutting back to Lavender and Salmon.)

Lavender: (hands Salmon a bottle) Here ya go cutie pa-tootie.

Salmon: Lav! Please! No smoopsie poo poo pie talk when all my friends are around!

(cuts to Scarlet dancing and singing around her bottles of beer.)

Scarlet: (sings) Who's the hottest bitch in this place? This girl. Girrl!

(cuts back to Lavender and Salmon)

Lavender: Sorry baby pie, I'm just so glad I could finally make it to one of your parties since my (glares at Scarlet) STUPID roommate! (to Salmon) made me miss the last ones.

(cuts back to Scarlet)

Scarlet: (holding a bottle of beer & singing) Can you feel my titties flyin' through the aiiirrr? (notices the cap on the bottle) The fuck is wrong with this thing?

(cuts back to Lavender and Salmon)

Salmon: I'm glad you're here too. (seductively) Maybe we can go to my room for a little... privacy?

Lavender: (seductively) Yeah, and we could finally... (puts her hand on his chest) Ya know?

(cuts back to Scarlet)

Scarlet: (Shaking the bottle in frustration) Oh my god, pop already!

(The cork flies out with a pop. Lavender and Salmon are about to kiss when the cap hits Lavender's head, which causes her to hit Salmon's face.)

Lavender: Ow!

(The bottle Salmon was holding drops onto electric cords and Lord Tourettes starts getting electrocuted violently.)

Lord Tourettes: FUCK!!!

(An explosion flies out of the apartment as the party starts showering with water. Burgundy walks up to Scarlet.)

Scarlet: OH shit! Look what the crabs dragged in.

Burgundy: Whoa Scarlet, you hit up the liquor store for me?

Scarlet: I'm about to hit you up fo' me!

(They start making out and having sex under the wheel barrow. Lavender looks worried while Salmon has an annoyed expression.)

Salmon: (to Lavender) Yeeaaahhh, maybe you shouldn't come to the next party.

(Episode Ends)

Scarlet: (seductively) Oh yeaahh!


  • This is the first gender-bent episode in the Dick Figures series.
  • List of characters and their gender bent forms.
  • This is the third time Broseph did not die (even though he was a girl).
  • Surprisingly, Lord Tourettes was the only character who was not gender-bent.
    • This is also the second time Lord Tourettes died in Season 5 and the 8th time he died overall, the first time was GTA: Pacific Grim
  • The female versions Raccoon and Trollz0r mostly resemble Jason's Mother and Mama-san.
  • This is the first and only episode where Red and Blue didn't appear.
  • It was confirmed by Zack Keller that Broseph's female name is Braseph, and Trollz0r's is Trollz0ra (Or Jacey) and that Lord Tourettes is Lady Tourettes or LT as they typed her name in the script.
    • He also said that it would be better if Braseph would be named Hoseph.
  • While many speculated that Lord Tourettes became Lady Tourettes (or LT), it was actually confirmed by Zack Keller that Lord Tourettes is still the same, and not gender bent at all. This would mean that this episode takes place in the same universe as the rest of the series.
  • After the Chick Figures spin-off series was announced, this episode is largely considered as the pilot or precursor to the series.



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