Dream Job
Season Spin-off, Episode 4
Chick Figures - Dream Job (Like, Share, Die)-0

Chick Figures - Dream Job (Like, Share, Die)-0

Air date August 7, 2015 (Fusion)
September 5, 2015 (Mondo)
September 13, 2015 (YouTube)
Episode run time 2-3 minutes
Episode guide
Nerve Gas

Dream Job is the third of Chick Figures (Dick Figures Spin-off). It aired on August 7th during Like, Share, Die.


Lavender finally discovers the job she's always dream of: working at the comic book store. That way she can read comics all day for free! If Lavender can just turn in the application before the store closes she knows the job will be hers. Unfortunately, her friend / roommate / enemy Scarlet is pukingly hungover and will not leave her alone. Or let her leave. Will Lav land her dream job...or will it turn into a nightmare?



(Episode begins with a drunk Scarlet.)

Scarlet: I'm gonna puke! (burps) Nope! (burps longer) Yeup! (burps) Nope! (burps) Yep! (burps) Nope! I'm cool! (suddenly pukes all over the floor as it cuts out to show Lavender standing next to her)

Lavender: Oh! Scarlet what did you drink last night?!

Scarlet: Let me fas-sure tell you what I DIDN'T drink?

(Cuts to a picture of a water cup, then cuts back to Scarlet puking inside a bag.)

Lavender: Hey! (takes a piece of paper out the bag) The application for my dream job is in there! If I work at the comic shop, I can get payed to read comics all day!

Scarlet: Laaaaame! You shoulda party with me last night, bitch! I'm STILL drunk!

Lavender: Ugh, did Burgundy dump you again?

Scarlet: I dumped HIS A-(censor)-s, cuz HE took a dump in front of me! I am SO done with boys!

Lavender: Then why are you crying?

Scarlet: (tears run down her face) I drank so much Alcohol it's leaking out my eyes! (licks her tears) Mmm, Marcerena! Uh oh, here comes the salt! (screams as her eyes turn red)

Lavender: (wipes the puke off her application) I need this job, or I'm gonna have to move back in with my parents!

Scarlet: Eww gross! My parents are awful! They think they're dead.

Lavender: Scarlet!

Scarlet: Well we're almost dead! They're like Medievil age!

Lavender: Gah! I don't have time for this! The store's closing any second! (leaves)

Scarlet: Hey bitch! I'm coming too! I need to walk off this hangov- (falls to the floor)

(It cuts to Lavender walking, but very slowly.)

Lavender: Al-most, there! Will you use your legs?! Like a human!

(It cuts down to Scarlet dragged along the floor while hanging onto Lavender's ankle.)

Scarlet: So, drunk-over! KILL MEEE!

(It cuts out to show the Comic book store, as a CLOSED sign appears behind it.)

Lavender: Oh no! Uhh, uhh! Hey! I think I see a hot guy in that store!

Scarlet: (suddenly hops up) WHERE?! (runs over to the store) OH MY GOD I LOVE HIM, I WANT TO HAVE ALL THESE BABIES!

(Lavender walks into the store just as the owner locks the door.)

Lavender: Phew! Made it! Here's my application sir, or should I say, boss? (winks) Wink!

Boss: D-Don't wink, it's creepy, and the position's been filled.

(It shows Scarlet tongue kissing a cardboard cutout of Thor.)

Scarlet: I've got a position you can fill big boy! (laughs)

Lavender: WHAT THE F-(censor)-K SCARLET?! You don't even LIKE comics!

Boss: (watching Scarlet, seductively) Oh, she seems to lick them just fine. Man I'm so glad I hired her.

(Lavender kneels down and starts crying, as Scarlet pukes on the cardboard cutout.)

(Episode ends)


  • This was originally going to be the first episode of Chick Figures to be released on YouTube, but was replaced by Mighty Neckbeard.
    • This was because the episode takes place at the Comicon, and since Comicon was coming up, they decided to air Mighty Neckbeard before Dreamjob Nightmare.
  • It was originally stated that this episode was the start of Dick Figures Season 6, but was later confirmed to be the beginning of a new Chick Figures spin-off.
  • Although this is the last episode of the series, it's most likely the first episode in the Chick Figures timeline.
  • Even though this was the last episode, but was replaced by Goople.
  • Although the video's title is only Dream Job, Zack Keller confirmed it's full title is Dreamjob Nightmare.


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