First Day of Cool
Season 4, Episode 5
Dick Figures - First Day of Cool

Dick Figures - First Day of Cool

Air date May 31, 2012
Episode run time 4:39
Episode guide
Ocho Muerte
The Red Devil
First Day of Cool is the 5th episode of Dick Figures Season 4 and the 35th episode overall. It also appears in Dick Figures: The Movie as the first scene in the film


Witness the birth of Red and Blue's friendship, the death of everyone else, and the beginning of a whole new movie!



(Shows outer space) Disembodied voice: Space. (Echoes twice. Shows the moon.) Earth. (Echoes twice. Camera moves around the moon to show Earth.) There it is.

(A red asteroid-like object descends toward it.)

(Camera moves from the sky to a elementary school.)
Elementary School

Welcome Back Students Who Failed

(Then a bus appears, with Mr. Dingleberry being the driver.)

(The characters of the series come out of the bus, 1 by 1 as kids.)

Jason: 1st!

(The Auto-Tuned Bee flies out along with him.)

Lord Tourettes: Who the FUCK cares! (giggles)

Raccoon: I can't wait for runch! ("Lunch" in his accent)

Stacy: (walks out swaying side to side as she walks with Pink following her) Oh, my God, you think there are gonna be boys at this school or what?

Pink: Eww. Boys have cooties!

(Blue stops at the bus door looking nervous & lonely. The rest of the group heads for school just as Pink looks back at Blue & smiles.)

Mr. Dingleberry: Adios, assholes! I'm late for a rave! (He then takes out his pill container & swallows 2 pills. He then speeds off, almost driving off with Blue.) Yeah!

(Blue shrugs & heads to school.)

Off-screen voice: Oh no! Not the explosion factory!

(There is a firey explosion behind Blue as he walks unphased by what happened, but then he falls head first in a mud puddle. Pink giggles & walks off as Blue recovers from the fall.)

Broseph: (standing by the school sign mocking Blue) Ah ha ha ha. Where'd you learn to walk? Cripple school? (claps his hand) Nice! (walks off)

(Blue starts walking among the kids.)

Raccoon: If you're happy and you know it, crap your hands. (He & a girl clap. The girl then pets him.)

(As Blue is walking, there is a sign saying: Play Nice At Recess!)

Stacy: (downing a pixie stick next to Pink.) Hey bitch, you want a pixie stick?

Pink: My mom says that those turn you into a whore.

Stacy: Probably!! (She continues eating her pixie stick.)

Lord Tourettes: (appears out of nowhere, then joins with with Blue) Ahaa! First day of class?

Blue: (timidly) Yeah...

(They past the Fat Ugly Girl, who is jumping rope & is actually skinny.)

Lord Tourettes: SPLENDID!! Mine as well! Say, there's a young JERKFACE looking for you! (Blue's expression changes, kinda scared) Says he wants to beat your BUTT until you die. Ha! Ta-ta. (giggles off leaving Blue, worried)

Blue: (heads to the playground to sit on the see saw) Whee... (sighs)

Broseph: (leans on the see saw near Blue) Sup, brah. You new here or what?

Blue: (Looks uneasy) Uh, yeah... 1st day!

Broseph: (walks up the see saw to the other side to lift Blue up in the air) Must be, 'cause otherwise YOU'd know that the see saw is for 5th graders.

Blue: (starts panicking) Sorry. I didn't know. (other kids crowd around Blue from the ground)

Broseph: Yeah? Price for playing on the 5th-grade playground, is your milk money. (The other kids pull Blue down & hold him to the see saw as he struggles free, lifting Broseph into the air as lightning strikes in the background.)

Blue: But, I'm lactose-intolerant!

Broseph: Really? Well, lets see if you're fist-tose intolerant!

(The kids start to beat up Blue & he starts to cry.)

Broseph: What's the matter, blue kid?

Blue: My mom says that I drink too much water & that's how come I cry so much...and pee! (shows a yellow puddle under Blue)

Broseph: Gross! (they continue to beat Blue.)

Broseph: (as a few other kids, including Stacy & Pink, start to notice what's going on.) You know that I got held back 5 years? But my muscles didn't. Uhh! (Flexes. The Kids continue to beat Blue.) ♪Old McDonald had a farm, now you're gonna die, nerd!

Blue: Noooo!! (the bullies punches his face even more)

Broseph: (while staring down at Blue's agony & then notices something) Huh? (A red light begins to brighten up the sky.)

Kids: Whoa. What is that? (Pink shields her eyes a little)

Lord Tourettes: Look! It's an ASS-teroid!!

Broseph: No. No! Nooo... (starts to panic as it speeds right toward him & blows him up. As the fumes of the asteroid settles, Blue recovers 1st & walks over to the crater. Amusingly, it shows the skull of Broseph with his hair as a part of his skull. A red foot stomps it to pieces & then show the person to be Red as a kid with his hat facing the front.)

Red: Sup.

Blue: (sees Red in amazement & suprise) Huuuhh?!

Stacy: Oh my God! Who is that?

Forest green bully: It's a new kid! Get him!

(The bullies start to charge in as Red flips his hat to the back & the fight begins. Red first jumps into the air & points at the kids, angrily, as lighting is being struck behid him.)

(He goes back down and beats up 6 kids, inside the crater. He then jumps to the other side, shown in slow motion, & kicks 2 more kids. He beats up 5 more of them & he then grabs 1, jumps into the air & throws the kid to the ground, creating an explosion & defeating all the kids inside the crater.)

(Red then runs towards a kid & jump kicks him into a circular climbing frame. Red goes to the top of it, punches 7 kids that were trying to get to him & then, he jumps & punches the climbing frame, making it fall & crash, as some kids also fall with it.)

(Red then runs to a teether ball attached to a pole. He punches the ball, making fall all the kids that were around him & starts beating up 5 kids with it. He then hangs a kid to the rope & Red proceeds to get inside the slide.)

(5 kids gets inside it by going to the top, but Red knocks them out 1 by 1 inside it & beats up more of them when he got out. As he gets to a small playground bridge, 6 kids with baseball bats start surrounding him & makes him unable to escape.)

(Red beats them using their own bats (1 kid does the Wilhelm scream when he gets knocked off the bridge) & then jumps high to throw the baseball bat at the bridge, breaking it in 2. When Red gets down, the kids gang piles up on him, seeing a close up on his face, as he's being punched by the kids & unable to move. Red finally decides to use all his strength to throw every kid by standing up, ending the fight.)

(Some kids landed a few yards away, 1 landed in a tree)

Stacy: Oh my God! You're sooo sexy! (Pink then pulls her away.)

Red: I know.

Blue: Dude, you saved my life!!

Red: I know!

Blue: What's your name?

Red: I know! Uh, I mean, I'm Red.

Blue: My name is Blue, no matter what happens, I promise, I will always be your friend.

Red: I know. 'Cuz I'm Awesome! (Red & Blue end with a high 5.)

-Episode Ends-


  • Red could be an alien since he came from an asteroid and was born with his powers.
  • Stacy was a slut before hitting puberty, and this was probably because she ate too many pixie sticks.
  • Its revealed that Blue is lactose intolerant and he cries because he drinks too much water.
  • Broseph was held back five years.
    • It is hinted Broseph might be older than most of the cast.
  • Mr. Dingleberry does drugs.
  • Mr. Dingleberry still goes on raves.
  • This is the second episode (well it's a movie) that we see Red, Blue and Pink as kids.
  • Mr. Dingleberry is bad at driving OR it was the drugs.
  • The drugs must have been what been keeping Mr. Dingleberry alive for a long time. Or the characters are immortal, as they come back to life.
  • This is the only one of Jason's apperances where he hasn't used a meme face.
  • This episode is the 4th one where Blue has a happy ending. The 1st time was in We're Cops!, The 2nd time was in Zeusbag and the 3rd time was in Pleasure Cruise.
  • Blue promised Red to always be his friend which explains why he never kicked Red out of the apartment.
  • This is a sneak preview from Dick Figures: The Movie.
  • Broseph was everyone's bully until Red killed him for the first time.
  • Beginning of Red's catch phrase "Cuz I'm awesome!"
  • Fat Ugly Girl was not fat at all as a kid.
  • The drawing of a war scene on the wall maybe related to Flame War.
  • The girl with Raccoon may be the one from Panda Hat.
  • Lord Tourettes even swore as a kid.
  • Blue led a hard, lonely life as a kid before Red came.
  • Broseph's hair is revealed to be part of his skull.
  • Broseph intended to kill Blue for some reason.
  • Red wore his hat to the right way when he first came to Earth.
  • This may be the same elementary school from Taco Tuesday.
  • It seems that Stacy & Pink knew each other before and probably had the same friendship as Red and Blue, but in Trouble Date, Stacy introduced herself to Blue and Pink and they acted like they didn't know each other.
    • It could be because they didn't hang out with each other some time after that and forgot each other.
  • This seems to be the first time Broseph had been an actual threat to Red and Blue since he was watching Blue get beat up by the fifth graders and wanted him to die before Red killed him. As an adult, he doesn't really seem to be seeking revenge on Red or Blue. He'd pretty much just go annoy them and say or do anything to try and make him look or sound better than them.
  • Blue's official first time had an epic fire entrance, before he tripped into mud.
  • The reason Red can float is because he might be an extra-terrestrial lifeform.
  • Its strange that the asteroid blew up a small portion of the playground and only one person died.
  • This is the second time for the Wilhelm scream, first was in Role Playas.
  • It seems there is no school staff to watch over the children when fights and explosions occur.
  • The school is really neglectful of the children that attend it.
  • Knowing Red, its possible he might've been born on Earth, but was traveling space before going to school.
  • Red took out roughly around 86 kids.
  • This is the second appearance of the Auto-tuned Bee where the bee hasn't said anything in auto tune and the first time where he hasn't said anything in autotune or caused anyone to say anything in auto tune in the whole episode.
  • Red's first and second epic fist fight.
  • In certain parts, the character animation is enhanced (to look like traditional animation) due to this episode being a part of a movie.
  • Red's actual origins is yet to be known.
  • All main characters have full open eyes instead of small dots (like Gelato Bene) for eyes.
  • Even though this is a trailer for Dick Figures: The Movie, it is still known as Episode 5 of Season 4
  • When Jason was young his head was smooth.
  • Despite it being shown that Broseph was killed by Red, as shown in the Dick Figures: The Movie trailer, he can be seen going to Middle School and College with Red, Blue, Pink, Stacy and Lord Tourettes.
    • He was also shown to have braces in the Middle School scene, attempting to impress Pink.
  • An extra clip was added to this episode in Dick Figures: The Movie, where Lord Tourettes greets Blue. This shows that the two know each other and they could be friends.

Reccurring gags

Auto-tune Use


Floating Red

Strikes a pose when jumping in the air to fight.

Episode Ending

News update on a upcoming movie of Dick Figures.

The Last Line Being Cut



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