Mighty Neckbeard
Season Spin-off, Episode 1
Chick Figures - Mighty Neckbeard (Like, Share, Die)

Chick Figures - Mighty Neckbeard (Like, Share, Die)

Air date May 28, 2015 (Fusion TV)

June 9th, 2015 (YouTube)

Episode run time 2:40
Episode guide
Nerve Gas

Mighty Neckbeard is the first episode of the Chick Figures Dick Figures Spin-off series. The episode first premiered on May 28th, 2015 on Fusion TV with Like, Share, Die, and premiered on YouTube June 9th, 2015.


Lavender (dressed as Batgirl) brings Scarlet (dressed as Lady Thor) to a convention to show off her love of comics. Unfortunately for her, and all the nerds in attendance, the internet's arch-villain, Mighty Neckbeard, begins terrorizing everyone. This is the moment all cosplayers have only dreamed about...becoming the superheroes they've always wanted to be!



(The episode begins at the Comicon with Scarlet dressed up as Lady Thor, and Lavender dressed up as Batgirl.)

Scarlet: My tits look epic in this costume! And they play sweet jams. (plays a jam on her breasts)

Lavender: Scarlet, you gotta stay in character! Lady Thor wouldn't say that!

Scarlet: Uhh, who's Lady Thor?

Lavender: Cosplaying isn't just about showing off your boobs! It's so you can be someone you're not for a day.

Scarlet: (deadpanned) Stopped listening a month ago!

(Cuts to the two girls cutting in line.)

Scarlet: Tits, tits, tits, 'scuse me? Have you seen my tits?

Man: Have I seen your- (notices Scarlet's breasts) Who-hoa my god, this the best day of my life! Take all my money!

Lavender: (feeling jealous, and annoyed) Stupid bad girl.

Man: (off-screen) Look out!

(It cuts to a fat neckbeard jerk pushing over a table.)

Man #2 (Dressed up as Link from The Legend of Zelda) Oh no! It's the dreaded neckbeard!

Mighty Neckbeard: YOU STOLE MY INTRODUCTION, ASSHOLE! (throws his hat towards a blue man, cutting off his head) I am the dreaded neckbeard! And my opinion will be heard! I think you all look STUPID in your costumes! (the crowd gasps) You all can take your costume off, but guess what? This neckbeard, is who, I, am!

(He starts throwing bombs around the convention, as everything explodes.)

Mighty Neckbeard: Eat fedora!

(He throws his hat at Scarlet's breasts, as they block the attack.)

Scarlet: Daaamn! What can't these things do?!

(People run around in fear and pain, as Lavender watches in horror, before standing up on a rock desperately.)

Lavender: Fellow nerds! Hear me! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! We must do this war!

Comicon Attendee: FOR FRONOOO!

(A group of Comicons charge at the Mighty Neckbeard.)

Mighty Neckbeard: (to Lavender) Bring it on! (tips his hat) Me lady. (throws blue arrows at several people) Down vote for you! Down vote for you! Down vote to OBLIVION!

(A man dressed as Wolverine, dodges the blue arrows, but lands on the floor as another Comicon attendee dressed as a Storm Trooper, charges at the Mighty Neckbeard, but he takes off his costume, as the attendee covers himself.)

Scarlet: (deeply) Now it's my turn, it's hammer time.

(Lavender face palms, as Scarlet tries hitting the Mighty Neckbeard with her hammer.)

Mighty Neckbeard: Trying to put me in the friend zone, huh?! Well friend zone this! (spins Scarlet around and throws her away and laughs.)

Lavender: I'll save you! I mean, (in a Batman tone) I'll save you. Wait that's Batman, not Batgirl.

(Scarlet and Lavender land in front of the Mighty Neckbeard, and the two begin attacking him as he tries blocking himself. Soon the three start to get tired.)

Mighty Neckbeard: (feeling weak) Never though I'd be killed, by my mortal enemy...

Lavender: Batgirl?

Mighty Neckbeard: (slowly dying) Exercise!(Blood rips out his chest, as he falls to the floor, dead)

Scarlet: I like destroying stuff! We should do this more often!

(Lavender stands on top of the Mighty Neckbeard's body.)

Lavender: That was the most pathetic fight in the history, of the world!

Man: (off-screen) Whoo!

Lavender: But you should all be proud! Because it doesn't matter what you look like! If you can only grow hair on your neck, or if you never go outside. (smiles) Today, you stood up for who you really are, and that's all that matters!

(People stare in silence, with a few coughing.)

Lavender: (groans) Fine.

(Lavender rips off some of her Batiglrl costume, revealing the top of her naked breast. People start cheering, as Lavender lightly smiles.)

(Episode ends)


  • This aired as the first episode of Chick Figures. However, in the actual production order, Dreamjob Nightmare is the first episode. The episodes were intentionally aired out of production order because of the fact that comic con was coming up so they thought this would be a fitting episode to air at the time.
  • Red, Blue, Pink, and Stacy appeared as cameos in this episode. Which could mean that the Dick Figures and Chick Figures universes are connected.
    • This also makes it official that Scarlet and Lavender are not Red and Blue's kids in the future because they are both shown in their 20's at the same time. Also, Red and Blue were seen cheering when Lavender showed her tits. This is obviously not something two married men would do over one of their daughters.
      • This however, could have been a visual gag, as Zack Keller did confirm on his website that Scarlet and Lavender were their daughters.
  • A stand for Fang Angels was seen in the background at the beginning of the episode.
  • A ninja from Kung Fu Winners was seen gasping when Neckbeard called everyone stupid.
  • Lavender's Batgirl hat is missing it's color after Scarlet's boobs get hit by Mighty Neckbeard's hat.
  • When Neckbeard threw his hat and sliced off the person's head, it might be a reference to one of Mortal Kombat's characters.



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