Dick Figures Wiki
Modern Flame War 3
Season 3, Episode 4
Air date November 3, 2011
Episode run time 4:25
Episode guide
Planet Asshole

Dick Figures - Modern Flame War 3

Modern Flame War 3 is the 4th episode of season 3, and the 24th episode overall of Dick Figures. It serves as a sequel to Flame War.

The Plot

After an internet outage, Red and Blue team up again with TROLLz0r to unload their weapons while searching for the perfect pair of bazookas.






Narrator: Available now, Modern Flame War 3! (The letters MF3 are shown on screen) Sequel of the highest selling game of all-time.

Screen: "Flame Wars was the worst [highest selling] game of ALL TIME." - the President

Narrator: FLAME WAR! (Screen shows the poster from the episode Flame War: Attack of the trolls) With the exact same weapons that look slightly different and an all new auto-noob-scope feature (Shows the weapons and a soldier using auto-scope and aiming at another person) will have you pwning kids around the world! (The soldier shoots the person in the head, reloads and makes a thumbs up) Packed with a epic 15 MINUTES SINGLE PLAYER CAMPAIGN and 80 years of multiplayer content. (Shows a young person on a sofa playing, then suddenly, he gets very old with a long white beard. 2 other old people appear at his left and right with game controllers) BOOM! LEVEL 80! BITCHES!! And don't even get us started on how many achievments there are. (The screen shows very fast all the achivements)* Modern Flame War 3! ARE YOU A FLAMER?

(Blue and TROLLz0R hold game controllers.)

TROLLz0R: (Aww Yeah Face) AAAAAWWWW, YEEEAH! (Me Gusta Face) This is the best video game ever made!

Blue: Just because it has a three on the end of it doesn't make it any better. It's the same game!

TROLLz0r: Naw, dawg! We're gonna be straight murkin' up in heeeereeaaa!

Narrator: (in the game) Multiplayer in 3... 2... 1... CONNECTION LOST!


Blue: Oh, what the hell! (Lays on the couch)


TROLLz0r's Mom (with Derpina's Hair): Jason, indoor voices.

TROLLz0r: 'Kay, mom.

(Meanwhile, Red on his computer, is looking up for boobs on the internet. He clicks many pages which involves boobs, Tatas and Melons. He finds a page that resembles to matrix codes while boobs fall.)

Red: (With eyes wide open) 'I must find the perfect boobs!' (finds a link that says "Perfect Tits FTW [NSFW] and clicks it) YEEE-EEESSS! (the picture loads until it is stopped by an error on the internet an


d Red is distraught) NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo!!!!! (cries) Auuughagghhaagggh!

All: (while TROLLz0r has the FFFUUUU face): (run out of the doors) THE INTERNET'S DEAD!!

Blue: (angry) Were you looking for the perfect boobs again?!

Red: I was so CLOSE!

Blue: You crashed the internet, dickfart! We were about to play Modern Flame War 3!

TROLLz0r: Everyone's levelling up without me! I'm not L.3.3.T. enough!

Blue: There were so many achievements to unlock....

Red: I only wanted two achievements!

Fat video game addicted guy: (in panic and despair) Agh! The real world, the World of Warcraft, is dead! (Gets on hsi knees) My life is over! We must... restore... the inter-net! (falls on his back from his weight)

TROLLz0r: (Determined/Serious Face) He's right. (Cat face) We've got to get the internet behk!

(Time lapses. Red, Blue and Trollz0r are in a plane on mountains. Onto the plane it is written: CPT.TROLLZOR, PHOENIX DOWN / USAF)

Blue: Where are we going?!

Red: We're almost there!

TROLLz0r: There it is! The indehnet! (sees a sign where it is written: Cybertime Systems, internet and shit) Let's set this bird daown! (TROLLz0r struggles to land the plane down and accidentally ejects Red)

Red: AAAAHH! (the plane lands and explodes)

Blue: Nice landing! (Red arrives from the sky with a shotgun)

(They hide behind a bush near a fence and Trollz0r, with the Fuck Yeah/Close Enough face, shoots two men who were on the other side using his sniper and the auto-scope mode)

Blue: (after TROLLz0r's shots) Dude... autoscope?

TROLLz0r: (Smiling Crying Face) Uuuuh-huuuh!

Blue: Damn it, they got barbed wire! We gotta find another way!

Red: It-chaaa! Real heroes never go around stuff! Hyup! (climbs up fence and eats a section of barbed wire)

Red: Whoo! All this manliness is making me thirsty. Better drink my own piss! (Gets out a canteen and starts chugging his urine.)

Blue: (along with Long Neck Reaction TROLLz0r) Oh, my God! Dude, why would you do that?

Red: (with badass background and rock music playing) BEAR GRYLLS!

(They get on the other side of the fence by climbing it since Red cleared the path)

Red: Alright crazy-face, can you get us in?

387071 286306068058153 182607035094724 1067387 1716485029 a.jpg

TROLLz0r: Don't even trip, chocolate chip! (Throws C4 onto the wall. Inside the break room, the wall explodes, killing a person that was close to it.)

Red: Break time's over. (Charges his shotgun, *click *click)

(TROLLz0r, with a sniper, Red, with a shotgun & Blue, with a rifle, barge in and attack all the grey people inside with slow motion breach. Red blasts the first technician in the chest, TROLLz0r no scopes an individual on the ground and Blue sprays a barrage of bullets into another gray man. Red then throws his shotgun and a victim is seen screaming slowly as the shotgun goes towards him. Red picks out his pistol and fires a bullet, which hits the lever of the shotgun and shoots the victim's head off. Back to normal speed.)

Blue: Oh shit, I think those guys were technicians.

Red: Of 'Evil'!

(TROLLz0r, Red & Blue run to the secret control room while the building is nearly crashing. As they arrive, Red and Trollz0r inhales deeply in shock. There is a large screen that reads: "World Internet Usage": Red 99%, Rest of Earth 1%. A violet woman with long, wavy hair stands below the screen.)

Blue: (angry) Dude! You're using 99% of the world's internet to download porn?!

Red: ONLY 99%?!

TROLLz0r: The internet's gon'splode!

Red: If I don't see those boobs, MY BALLS ARE GONNA EXPLODE!! (Aims his gun at the violet woman.) Gimme that last 1%, biiitch!!

Woman: Holy shit, don't shoot me!

Red: DO IT!

Blue: You're crazy! Think of the world! Think of the achievements!!


Woman: I got both your achievements right here. (As she lifts up her breasts, the camera zooms in on her left breast, which sports an ID tag revealing her name.)

Red: (surprised) Staaaacyy?

Stacy: Oh, I got another haircut.

Red: Ooooohh! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on. Ow, owww!

(Stacy opens her shirt, revealing her breasts, but they're censored by a huge light. Beautific music plays.)

Red: The Perfect Boobs!!

Blue and TROLLz0r: (shielding their eyes) Ah! The beauty!

The Explosion

(Red and Stacy close in on each other, with the space as a background and when they touch, they cause an explosion. The wind blows all the trees away and the giant explosion is seen from space on the Earth. The screen then shows how the internet goes back to 100% for the Rest of the World as Red gets 0%)

(Back home, TROLLz0r is teary-eyed and his eye pupils are huge.)

TROLLz0r: This is it! My entire life has led up to this single moment!

Blue: Yeah, here we go!

Narrator: 3... 2... 1... FLAME ON. (TROLLz0r's player is shot in the head.) HEADSHOT!

TROLLz0r: What the hell?! Lemme try that again!

Narrator: (both Blue and Trollz0r's players are shot in the head at the same time) D-D-D-Double Headshot!


Blue: This game sucks.

Narrator: You suck.

-Episode Ends-

Narrator: Epic teabagging!

Dick Figures Title

Modern Flame War 3

List of Achievements Earned

Throughout the episode Red, Blue, and Trollz0r gain achievements that pop up in Xbox 360 fashion. These can be seen at certain points in the episode, the old video intro, the episode ending and the watch more Dick Figures Videos in the lower right-hand corner.

  • Mondo Maniac (At the introduction and logo of Mondo Mini Shows, when the episode doesn't even starts)
  • Believe (When Jason and Blue starts playing the game, after Jason say : straight murkin up in heeereea!)
  • Pr0n Legacy (When Red is searching for the perfect boobs on the internet, after he clicks 'Perfect tits FTW [NSFW]and screams 'YEEEES!!)
  • Rez Pls (After the fat videogame addicted guy finishes his speech and falls)
  • Goose! (When Jason's plane is getting landed and accidently ejects Red who screams AAAAH!!)
  • Graceful Landing (When they 'land' the plane, who exploses and Red reappears on the ground)
  • Auto-N00b (When Trollz0r shoots the 2 men near the fence using auto-scope)
  • Iron Chef (When Red eats a section of the barbed wire)
  • Bear Grylls!!! (After Red drinks his own piss and shows a picture of him with 'BEAR GRYLLS' written)
  • C4 Yourself (When Jason throws the C4 onto the wall)
  • Click! Click! (When Red say: Break time's over *click *click*)
  • A Michael Bay Film (After they finish killing all the technicians)
  • Explicit Content (When Red points his gun at Stacy and she scream: Holy shit, don't shoot me!)
  • Perfect Boobs (When Stacy reveals her boobs to Red and he say: The Perfect boobs!)
  • I Can Haz Internet (After the explosion and when the internet for the Rest Of The World goes back to 100%)
  • Epic Tea-Bagging (After the credit roles and ending, when the narrator say: Epic teabagging!)
  • Campaign Complete (At the very end of the episode, when it ends in 2 seconds, while they show others episodes)


  • This marks Trollz0r's third appearance and his mother's first. Trollz0r's first appearance was in Y U So Meme and his second was in Terminate-Her! as a cameo. His latest appearance was in Ocho Muerte.
  • The acheivements throughout the episode reference both the show and its channel MondoMedia.
  • The BEAR GRYLLS shot adds humor to how in "Man vs Wild" he drinks his own piss.
  • This marks Stacy's second appearance. Her first appearance was in Trouble Date.
  • There are many references of Modern Warfare 3, Like the title, the game-intro and its issues like the "Connection Lost".
  • This is the first episode to be on a separate website other than YouTube, though the episode was posted on YouTube the day after it was posted on GameSpot.
  • Trollz0r's real name turns out to be Jason after the name of fan, Jason Teyuwissen.
  • When Red is finding the "perfect boobs" there is a loading page with a movie reference to The Matrix.
  • If one looks at Red's computer screen when he is looking for the perfect boobs, they can see that his dash board has a link to Stacy's webcam which could mean they're still dating.
  • The list of Modern Flame War 3 Achivements founded at the commercial:
    • First Bullet Fired
    • Second Bullet Fired
    • Third Bullet Fired
    • 100 Meter Dash
    • Fall Out 3 Windows (Reference to the game Fallout 3)
    • Banjo & Kazoo Player (Reference to the game Banjo & Kazooie)
    • Golden Eyes (Reference to the James Bond game/movie Goldeneye
    • Forever Alone
    • The Meme Team
    • BOOM SHAKALAKA! (Reference to Muppet Treasure Island)
    • Go To Chell! (Reference to the game Portal)
    • Companion n00b (Same as above)
    • SNAAAAAAAKE!!! (Reference to the Metal Gear Solid series)
    • Hylian Loach Poacher (Reference to the Legend of Zelda series)
    • Your Princess Is In Another Castle (Reference to the Mario series)
    • GTA: Red & Blue (Reference to the Grand Theft Auto series)
    • And You Can Go Home
    • ROFL-Coptered
    • Lord Tourette's Hat
    • b Point Harness Unbuckled
    • EZ Money
    • ???Remochoso???
    • Pump Action
    • Team Unplayer
    • Team Slayer
    • Blue Up
    • Yippee-Ki-Slay
    • I'D LIKE SOME POUND CAKE (Reference to one of Arin "Egoraptor" Hanson's videos)
    • GET OVER HERE (Refrence to Scorpion from Mortal Kombat)
  • Red had multiple porn downloads active when he was searching for the "perfect boobs", including:
    • Cleavage To Beaver
    • Tit-anic
    • How the Breast Was Won
    • Boob Tube
    • The Nipple Effect
    • Bosom of All Fears
    • Jurassic Park in Blu-Ray
  • Before the YouTube version of this episode released, this is the only episode that put censors, even though censors were not put on the same words earlier in the episode.
  • The achievement "GET OVER HERE!" is a reference to Mortal Kombat.
  • Cybertime System is parody of Cyberdyne System from 'Terminator' series.
  • 'Flame On' is a quote from Human Torch from the Fantastic Four.
  • One of Trollz0r's poster is Nyan Cat, first time seen is on 'Y U So Meme? ' when he ate it.

Recurring Gags

Auto-Tune Use


Red Floating

When Red and Stacy were pulled toward each other.

Episode Ending

The word "DICK FIGURES" appears with the "I"s replaced by Red, and Blue getting headshot in the head.

The Last Line Being Cut