The Fart Knight Rises
Season 4, Episode 9
Dick Figures - The Fart Knight Rises

Dick Figures - The Fart Knight Rises

Air date July 12, 2012
Episode run time 3:53
Episode guide
Ballad of Lord Tourettes
Robot Frog

The Fart Knight Rises is the ninth episode in Season 4, and the 39th episode overall.


Batman & the Bloser are hired to protect the Olympics...right at Tea Time. Cheery-uh-oh. Featuring a cameo by Thomas "TomSka" Ridgewell as the villainous sidekick 'Mash'!



(The episode starts with the episode's poster, as if it was a Movie Ad poster. Then the camera shows the Olympic stadium located on London, while epic music is heard. A text is seen at the bottom of the screen.) - -

London, England, Great Britain, United Kingdom, etc.

(The screen then shows The Bloser, aka Blue, riding a scooter on a bridge.)

Bloser: (Bored tone) ♪ Scooting around, London town. ♪ Protecting the Olympics from bad guys & stuff... Cheery-oh.

(From a radio, Batman, aka Red, contacts with The Bloser.)

Batman: Bloser, any signs of danger?

Bloser: Nope, streets are empty, just like my life.

(The Bloser then looks up in the sky, where a giant ship can be seen surrounded by clouds.)

Bloser: What do you see up there, Batman?

(The screen goes closer to the ship, floating in mid-air.)

Batman: Boobs, ahahahah!

(Shows Batman, inside the ship, with various screens around him showing pictures
Suck my bat dick

Suck my bat-dick...

of stick figure breasts.)

Bloser: (From a radio) Bet you wish you could see your parents from up there.

Batman: (Unamused expression) Suck my bat-dick.

(Suddenly, all the screens with the breasts fade away & now show a cup of tea.)

Batman: The fu-? Who took my boobs?!

Voice from the screen: (British accent) Do you know what time it is, Batman?

Batman: Yeah, it's like, 4 o'clo-

(The screens then changes & now shows Earl Grey with a cup of tea in his hand.)

Earl Grey: Nooo, its tea time! (Laughs evilly)

(Batman then gasps, with a shocked expression on his face. The ship then explodes, as Batman's seen falling, alive, close to the explosion.)


Earl Grey: (off-screen) Still making a mess, I see. You should clean up your act! Butlers!

(6 butlers then come out of the explosion, all with jet packs, who fly towards Batman)

Batman: Best way to fight butlers, is with butlers! Alfredberry! (Points to the ground)

(Mr. Dingleberry, who's actually Alfredberry, is seen with a bazooka next to a British store.)

Alfredberry: Ehh. Finally! An old person's helpful.

(He aims the bazooka up in the sky & fires a rocket. The impact's so hard that he actually falls. The missile goes towards Batman & then splits into 6 missiles, hitting every butler following Batman, killing them.)

Batman: (Pulls out his wings) Woaou!!

(Using his wings, Batman glides to the Olympic stadium seen at the beginning of the animation. As he arrives & lands in the stadium, The Bloser also arrives there on his motorcycle. They look at the s
He's back!

He's back!

ky, shocked.)

Batman: Oh my God! He’s back!

Bloser: But… Hooow?!

Earl Grey: (floating in the air) Yes, it is I again, Earrrl Grrey! And I’m here to steal all the Olympics GOLD medals for my personal collection… OF GOLD!

Bloser: Your accent sounds pretentious!

(Fires a blue bolt at Earl Grey)

(The bolts hit him successfully, but it doesn’t affect Earl Grey, as he laughs while he’s being hit.)

Earl Grey: Your emo rays have no effect on me, my weakling sad sire, because I am actually a Rrrrobot!

Batman: Well then, get ready to be Control, Alt. Deleted!

Earl Grey: Not before you meet my 2 sons Bangers & Mash!

(The screen goes down, where we see 2 giant gorilla like men in the stadium.)

Bangers: (British accent) Keeooo!! We’re gonna toss you like a smatas!

Mash: (British accent) Monarchy!!

(Screen goes back to Batman & Bloser)

Batman: Bloser! You take care of Tweedledee & Tweedledumbledick, (Close up) I got assets to kick!

(Batman then rolls to a pole vault, where he lands & jumps over the pole & then, he throws 2 batarangs, Batman’s boomerangs, at Earl Grey. He easily deflects the batarang using his cane, while he drinks some of his tea.)

Earl Grey: Hope you brought an umbrella, because I’m gonna make it rain!

(Earl Grey then shoots a lot of coins from his hand at Batman, like if they were bullets. Batman manages to take no damage by shielding himself with his cape against the coins.)

Batman: Keep the change!

(Shows Bloser fighting Earl’s children.)

Bangers: (British accent) Oy! Shabby twat! (Mash tries to smash the Bloser, but he dodges his attack) You're gonna get Bullocks!

(Bangers & Mash both try to punch Bloser at the same time, but Bloser dodges their attack by jumping on Mash’s head.)

Bloser: Is that even english?!

Mash: Harry Pottar!

(Shows Batman fighting Earl Grey in mid-air)

Earl Grey: Don’t bank on winning, Batman! (Hits Batman with his cane, but Batman blocks it with his arms.)

Batman: Then you better count on getting tea bagged! (Kicks Earl Grey, but gets blocked)

Earl Grey: Really? Would you like 1 lump or 2? (Batman manages to grab Earl Grey & then kicks him.)

Earl Grey: (Standing) Ah-ah! (Earl swing his cane various times at Batman, but misses. Batman then grabs & takes the cane, only to reveal that there was a sword inside it, which Earl was holding for real.)

Batman: Let’s cut the crap! (Tries to hit Earl with the cane, but gets blocked by his sword)

Earl Grey: You just blade my day! (Fights Batman fencing style)

Batman: (Blocks Earl's attack) Knife 1!

(Cuts to Bloser raising his hands)

Bloser: Your teeth are crooked (Fires his emo ray) & your food is dry! (Fires more emo ray at his opponents)

(The rays hits Bangers & Mash, but they seem unaffected.)

Bangers: (British accent) Stupid people don’t have feelings! (Mumbles)



Bloser: Damn it!

Mash: MARY POPPINS! (He Smashes Bloser into the ground)

(Cuts to Earl Grey)

Earl Grey: I can almost taste all that gold!

Batman: You’ll never get all the gold metal cock barf! That’s what AMERICA DOES!!

(Batman then kicks Earl Grey on his hand, which makes him drop his cup of tea that floats into the air & then falls down.)

Earl Grey: (screams) NOOO!! Not my…my precious tea!

(Bloser then catch the cup of tea & gets ready to throw it)

Bloser: Talk about fine china! (Music stops) What? (Music continues)

(He then throws the cup of tea at Mash, which breaks into his face, as he disintegrates because of the tea.)

Bangers: MASH!! Nooooo...

Bloser: Looks like someone’s feeling a little sad! Yo bro is dead! (Fires his emo ray at Bangers, as he explodes from it.)

(Cuts to Earl Grey)

Earl Grey: Curses! Without my caffeine, I’m so… (His eyelids start going down)…I’m so sleepy…

Batman: Well, I think it’s time we should put you in the bed!

(Batman grabs Earl Grey & starts spinning around with him. He then stops spinning & throws him towards the Olympic stadium. Batman then flies towards it too and arrives besides the giant Olympic torch. He bends down, his butt being close to the fire.)

Batman: Hey Earl Grey! You know what’s the best part of 4th of July is?

Earl Grey: (Falling) Celebrating your victorious independence from Great Britain?!

Batman: No, (deep voice) the Barbecue!

(When Earl Grey finally arrives at the torch, Batman then farts on the fire, creating a huge explosion on the stadium & killing Earl Grey for sure. People are heard cheering. The screen goes back inside the stadium, where Batman & Bloser go in front of the torch, as if they were champions. A British person then appears with a lot of medals on his arms.)

British person: It seems Batman not only saved London, but also won 500 gold medals!

Bloser: Are there even that many sports in the Olympics?

British person: (Points medal towards Batman)Including the pole vault, fencing and the breast stroke! - - (The screen shows The Queen of England in a stick figure form, gasping & then blushing)

British person: Oh, thank you, Batman! (Batman takes the medals)

Bloser: (angrily)…& the Bloser!

All the spectators: U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!

Batman: UUuuu.S.A.!! (Raise arms)

Bloser: (Desperately) & Bloser!

Batman: I’M BATMAN!!

Fart Knight Rises ending


Recurring Gags

Episode Ending

Dick Figures: The Movie Outro

Red Floating

When Batman (Red) fight Earl Grey in the air, floating.

Auto-tune Usage


Last Line Being Cut



  • After one Season, this is Earl Grey's big comeback.
  • "The Queen" made a debut in this episode. However, she only appears for a really short time.
  • This episode is the sequel to Adventures of Batman & The Bloser.
  • The episode is a parody of the movie The Dark Knight Rises and the 2012 Olympics.
  • Mr. Dingleberry would have probably played a big role in this episode since his name is also on the top of the poster, but he appeared for a short time only, using the bazooka.
  • Mr. Dingleberry is called Alfred Berry in this episode.
  • There is a cameo appearance of a YouTuber called TomSka as Mash. (famous creator of the asdfmovie series) in this episode.
  • This is the first episode to have a celebrity cameo appearance.
  • This is the 3rd episode who is revealed before it's release, first being Bath Rhymes (Official Music Video) and second being Modern Flame War 3.
  • Earl Grey is a robot.
  • Earl Grey has two sons.
  • Second time Red says I'm batman since Flame War and Adventures of Batman & The Bloser
  • The name of Bloser's rays is revealed, it is called the emo ray .
  • It is unknown why The Bloser didn't use his ray on the previous episode against Earl Grey when he was not a robot.
  • Even though Earl Grey wants the Olympic gold medals for his collection of gold. Gold medals are only (roughly) 1.34% gold.
  • The main reason Blue pause when he say's fine china is that it sounds like vagina.
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