|Season 1, Episode 4|
Red and Blue meet the Turtle Dragon.
|Air date||December 29, 2010|
|Episode run time||1:56|
Youtube Description: Red drives Blue insane in the fast lane to nowhere.
Red: LET ME IN!
Blue: AAah! Crap, man!
(Red slides down the window and jumps through the window of the car.)
Blue: HEY! Can't you use the door like a human?!
Red: What are all these cars doing here?
Blue: What are you doing here? This is a freeway!
Red: Free country, biiieetch! Let's hurry it up!
(Red sounds the horn in the rhythm of Mario's theme. Blue pushes him away.)
Blue: Knock it off, fucktard!
Red: RAAARGH, this music sounds like unicorn barf!
Blue: There's nothing bad about classical.
Red: There's everything bad about classical. I need something to help me relax.
(Bar 9's "Midnight" plays. Blue covers his ears.)
Red: Wubwubwubwubwubwubwubwubwubwubwub! This music's giving me a boner!
Blue: Aaaaaghh, this is raping my mind!
(Blue turns the music down.)
Red: Man, I'm tired.
(Red dunks his head on Blue's airbag and it pops.)Red: Whoahh, that was a good nap!
Blue: What the fuck, man, you broke my airbag!
Red: Whatever, you don't need an airbag! (they notice a huge figure while screams are heard.) (low voice) You're gonna need an airbag...
(a giant fire-breathing turtle is suddenly crushing cars and causing explosions. Red and Blue scream.)
Blue: IS THAT A TURTLE?!
Red: THAT'S A FUCKING DRAGON!!!
Blue: (the turtle lets out a 1954 Godzilla roar as its leg slowly moves down to crush the car) Get out of the car! (he and Red run away. Blue runs back.) Oh, I forgot my keys! (runs away. runs back.) Ah, my glasses! (runs away. runs back.) My favorite CD! (runs away. runs back.) Ah, there's a frisbee in the trunk. Oh, there's a lot of good stuff in here! I got a bocce ball, there's a... kite...D&D books (Red comes back with a sword)... oh, is that a baseball? Sweet, baseball!
Red: (low voice) Catchphrase. (jumps at the turtle.)
(Pictures are now shown as Red jumps to the Turtle, then Blue picks up a sword from the back of the car, also jumps to the turtle and another picture shows are they are battling him, putting their sword in his skin while blood is leaking. Then it shows how Red decapitated the monster, showing the head of it with glory and the final image shows how they have it as a trophy on their wall, while Red and Blue are smoking.)
Dick Figures Title
- The I's were turned to Swords as Red and Blue ended up killing the Turtle Dragon with swords.
- This episode and Sex Marks the Spot are the only episodes in the series where only Red and Blue speak.
- The episode is named after two things, the traffic and the music Red is listening to.
- The music "Dragon Slaying Dubstep" is originally Midnight by Bar 9, which was co-composed by Nick Keller.
- This episode marks the debut of the Turtle Dragon.
- This episode is most likely a remake of the pilot episode Stick Figures, since it has the same Turtle Dragon and in both Red says "It's a fucking dragon!"
Red floats in his first attempt at killing the turtle dragon.
The word DICK FIGURES is shown with the "I"s replaced with swords and in the episode section, classical music plays
The Last Line Being Cut